Your mind is on vacation but your mouth is working overtime. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce. Lady: Did your salary just triple in the last 5 minutes? I think i should tell you What people are saying behind your back? Nice Ass…. I sent an angel to watch over you last night but he came back saying he can’t watch porn. Sure, I've seen people like you before - but I had to pay an admission. ~ Groucho Marx. “Yes I have a dirty mind and you’re on it” You’re on it, you and I making it out. 20 Inappropriate Words and Phrases to Avoid at Work. Poppycock ! Add your one liner to our site and see how good it is. To … Also check : Funny Short Clever Status, Funny Bitchy Status, Best Flirt Status. I’m a freelance gynecologist. Fix your regrets of insulting somebody and make them laugh by giving them one of our Funny Compliments. Twocanchew! Disclaimer: We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites. I think the woman who invented the phrase “All Men Are The Same” was a chinese woman who lost her husband in the crowd. This is a Professional Website where we feature products. If ugly were a crime, you'd get a life sentence. Can I ignore you some other time? Sign up to receive the latest and greatest articles from our site automatically each week (give or take)...right to your inbox. Don't you need a license to be that ugly? Some people hear voices.. ~ Tom Stoppard. Do you know a funny one liner? You will say to yourself "Who on Earth would say such things?" Funny Phrases and Slogans That Will Crack You Up. Privacy Policy. Funny. We can always tell when you are lying. Santa Clause wrote him back, "Ok, send me your mother.". A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer. Out of these cookies, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. Don’t drink and park – accidents cause people. It could be worse. Jokes. Store security stopped my wife at the door for trying to steal a butterball turkey. Nowadays, legs spread quicker than rumors. Sometime we need some dirty status to make fun and surprise our friends and followers. No seriously, your in the way. In this Quotabulary article, you will find just that – a few breathers that will refresh you anytime, anywhere. Browse the best dirty status, short dirty quotes, funny status and share them with others, either you can use them as Whatsapp status and Facebook status or Messages. Here are few very funny and hilarious minions memes, which will surely make you laugh and must share with your friends. This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. You are so old, your birth-certificate expired. Best 100+ Short Status For Whatsapp and Facebook, Funny Naughty Status Archives For Whatsapp & Facebook, Hilarious Sarcastic Status, Messages and Short Sarcastic Quotes, Funny Winter Status - Short Witty Winter Quotes and Messages, 100 King Status and King Captions in English, Swag Bio for Instagram – Short, Classy & Trendy, One Word Caption – Best Single Word Captions, Birthday Captions for Yourself – Happy Birthday To Myself. It is kind Read more. I hope you meet someone who is good-looking, intelligent, and cultured. It's better to let someone think you are an Idiot than to open your mouth and prove it. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. You have Diarrhea of the mouth; constipation of the ideas. remember to share fun with your friends. Please shut your mouth when you’re talking to me. I hate sitting in a seat warmed by someone else. We live in a world where losing your iPhone is more dramatic than losing your virginity. 1. When Miley Cyrus is naked and licks a hammer it's "art" and "music"... but when I do it, I'm "wasted" and "have to leave Home Depot". I'm emotionally constipated. Don’t steal. The Best Office Space Quotes to Remind Us Not to Take Work Too Seriously, 40 Oh-so-relatable Quotes About Getting the Monday Blues, The Best 6th Grade Graduation Quotes to Ease the Transition, Get Well Wishes, Quotes, & a Message for Sick Friend, Cute & Steamy Romantic Love Quotes to Spark the Fire, Find Me Quotes From Andre Aciman’s Beautiful Novel. Keep talking, someday you'll say something intelligent! Top 20 Most Funny Stories of all Time #Funny #Stories. Stupidity is not a crime so you are free to go. Good girls go to Heaven, bad girls just make you FEEL like you are in Heaven. As an outsider, what do you think of the human race? Men have an antenna. What is the difference between "ooooooh"and "aaaaaaah"? You're so fat, you leave footprints in concrete. We do get compensation for Products listed on our site. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website. But opting out of some of these cookies may have an effect on your browsing experience. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory. I can explain it to you, but I can’t understand it for you. Used these insults too much? If a woman sleeps with 10 men she's a slut, but if a man does it… He's gay, definitely gay. Women might be able to fake orgasms. If I wanted to kill myself I'd climb your ego and jump to your IQ. Some babies were dropped on their heads but you were clearly thrown at a wall. There are 70 ways to keep a man happy. You must have been born on a highway because that's where most accidents happen. LIST UPDATED: 03/30/20. Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock. If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong. I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass. Gallery of witty & hilarious dirty status, short dirty quotes & funny dirty sayings which is extremely waiting to make anyone LOL who can get it. = Cannot Stop Investigating F.I.N.A.L.S.= Fuck, I Never Actually Learned Shit A.D.I.D.A.S. A cute Nurse came for the interview. Shutterstock It normally takes time to settle into a new job and get comfortable being around new people. Women are like IPhones, you have to touch them all over before they respond. Sometime we need some dirty status to make fun and surprise our friends and followers. As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools. (So, yeah, keep them away from kids.) These funny acronyms and abbreviations will sure make you laugh. What did right boob say to the left one – you are my “breast friend.”. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public. Funny Phrases and Sentences. Minions Read more. To make you laugh on Saturday, I need to you joke on Wednesday. You are not as bad as people say, you are much, much worse. 3. I once made love for an hour and fifteen minutes. If abortion is murder then are condoms kidnapping! Chris Leitch. If some content here infringes your copyright, Best Friend Quotes | True Friendship Starts here. This website uses cookies to improve your experience. If some content here infringes your copyright contact with us as soon as possible with content link we will remove it immediately. ten times zero is zero... You're the reason the gene pool needs a lifeguard. If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. For example, toilet paper. No I'm not insulting you, I'm describing you. Touch it gently, put 2 fingers inside, if it’s wide use 3 fingers, make sure it’s wet and rub up and down. Or maybe some words are just inherently funny? You're so ugly, when your mom dropped you off at school she got a fine for littering.